Logan and Cecile Read online

  "Fuck me ... Logan," Nathan called out towards the kitchen. "You got this for tonight?"

  Logan sauntered to the table, grabbing another slice before answering, "Yeah. I'll drive her tomorrow if you're not back in time."

  "Thanks man ... Later, CiCi," Nathan said, heading out the door.

  Settling onto the couch, I waited for the front door to close. Logan could be many frustrating things, but he always listened and tried to give advice.

  "What the hell? Is her vagina bedazzled or something?"

  Smirking, Logan sat next to me twisted the top off his beer. He pulled the still unopened bottle from my hand, opened it and gave it back to me. I was capable of opening my own beer, but muttered "thanks" anyways.

  "I'm glad you call him on his BS. But he's a man and he thinks he needs her. You can accept it or push a wedge further in your relationship. The further you push, the more he'll cling to her. I don't like her either. I just hide it by keepin' quiet."

  This gave me a slight boost of confidence. At least my judge of character was decent, since Logan agreed with me.

  "Thanks for the advice, Dr. Phil. I just wanted to spend an evening with my brother before I move. Who knows when my next trip home will be." I took a sip from by beer and ate my pizza.

  I didn't mind spending time with Logan, but I would be leaving for school tomorrow. Nothing had ever happened between us, and he genuinely acted like he wasn't interested. I was permanently in the friend zone. Even if I wasn't friend zoned, long distance relationships didn't work. Leaving for CIA there was nothing I could do to change that except go to school and hope to get over him.

  Honestly, I didn't know when I'd see Logan and Nathan again. I could get to New York, love it and never want to leave. If that happened, I would try to work holidays instead of going home to visit. I had a bucket list planned while I was on the east coast, assuming I found a decent-paying job and could afford to travel a bit. Boston, Charleston, Philadelphia were a few cities on that list I needed to visit.

  "Hey," he said with a gentle tone.

  Turning my head, I stared at him. His shaggy hair, built body, chiseled face. He was gorgeous, rugged and striking as always.

  Do not sigh dreamily.

  He continued speaking in his gentle tone, "I will say something if he gets the stupid idea to propose. But he's having fun and it's not hurting anyone, yet. Let it ride for now."

  I managed to muster a grin and mumbled, "'Kay."

  "Watch this or I'm putting on baseball." He was letting me watch Doctor Who over his beloved baseball. If I still believed I had a chance, I would have dissected this moment. Instead I focused on the TV, while finishing my beer.

  ######

  Halfway through the sixth inning of the Rockies game Logan's phone started ringing. I was thoroughly buzzed on three beers and didn't remember exactly when Logan commandeered the remote to watch baseball.

  He muted the TV, then pulled the phone from his pocket and answered. I watched him walk to the kitchen and pop open another beer. He raised his bottle to me in question, and I shook my head. One more beer and I'd do something stupid like try to kiss him. I turned my attention back to the TV, ignoring his conversation.

  A crash sounded in the kitchen. Turning my head, I spotted broken glass on the floor and watched the blood drain from Logan's face.

  Oh, shit! As I ran in there, he moved to the dining room table, collapsing into a chair tossing his phone on the table.

  "You okay? What's going on?" After a few seconds of silence from Logan, I pick up the phone to see who called only to find it still connected to the caller. I whispered a soft "Hello", and waited.

  "Who's this?" a stern but young and familiar male voice asked.

  "Cecile Cooke. Who are you?" I asked. Logan hunched forward, resting an elbow on his knee, his hand covering his eyes.

  The man on the phone sighed before answering, "CiCi, it's Randy. I have some bad news."

  Randy. He graduated high school with Nathan and Logan and was part of their posse. He works for the sheriff's department back home while taking night classes at the University of Montana, better known as UM.

  "Wha-What is it?" I rubbed my hand across Logan's shoulder, trying to soothe him.

  "His parents were involved in an auto accident, two miles from their house. All parties involved are deceased."

  Just a few days ago, Logan and I had enjoyed a long breakfast with them before we drove twelve hours to Fort Collins. There had to be a mistake.

  "You're 100% sure it's Logan's parents; there's no way it's a mistake? Maybe one of the ranch hands borrowed their truck?"

  Silence.

  "Sorry, honey, I saw them." His voice was low and hoarse. He's trying to maintain his composure, but I know he's feeling the same pain. "There's no chance of a mistake."

  No, no, no!

  A sob slipped out of my throat before I could control it. I bit my cheek, trying to get control of my emotions.

  "I'll—um, pack a bag for him, and make arrangements to get home as soon as possible. I'll have Nathan call you with the plans." I'd spent a fair amount of time around Logan's parents, his house was my home away from home. His mom taught me the finer points of baking, which was what inspired me to apply to CIA. I'd shown her my acceptance letter before I told my own parents that I applied. She also gave me moral support when my mom was being difficult or self-absorbed. Needless to say, I'd visit her weekly, if not several times a week, considering she was more motherly to me than my own mother.

  "Okay, CiCi, try to take care of him. I'm sorry."

  I replied, "I will try. Randy ... Can you do me a favor and call Nathan? He's busy with Ashlee." Nathan would probably think I was lying to get him away from Ashlee.

  "Honey, I called him before I called Logan. To give him a heads up. He should be there soon, okay?"

  "Thank you, Randy. Bye."

  Randy had barely hung up before I lost it. My shoulders started heaving as I cried, and suddenly I found myself sitting across Logan's lap. His arms wrapped around me, and his face tucked into my neck. My arms looped around his neck. And I just let it all go. How was I supposed to comfort him and grieve? I had absolutely no idea, so I apologized.

  "Sweetie, I'm so sorry," I whimpered, more tears spilled down my cheeks. Several minutes passed while I cried, and I didn't care how unattractive crying made me.

  I lost two people I'd known all of my life. My-super-secret-school-girl-crush just lost his parents. I lost my mentor, neighbor and second mother. I had no idea what to do to make Logan not feel as much pain.

  "We'll get through this, baby," he whispered against my neck.

  My wet cheek found his shoulder as I settled in. Logan had never cuddled me but it felt natural. I felt safe and protected.

  Minutes later, I heard the door open, and that's exactly how Nathan found us. Me curled into Logan's lap, with Logan's head still tucked against my neck. I was sure Ashlee would be incensed about being left alone, and pathetically, that made me happy.

  Not letting go of my waist, Logan stood, allowing my legs to fall but not letting my feet touch the floor, holding me close to him, as Nathan walked across the room and hugged Logan, sandwiching me between them.

  Before I knew it, I was back on my feet, and Logan was closing himself in his room. I was completely drained, and temporarily cried out. Dodging the broken beer bottle, I went to the bathroom and washed up. I don't normally wear a lot of makeup, but my mascara was a hot mess all over my face. After removing it all, I went to Nathan's room where he was packing a bag.

  "Are you coming home with us?" Nathan asked.

  I'd worked my senior year and part of this summer to save up enough money to escape Montana. I had a small amount in savings after buying airfare to New York. My ticket was non-refundable and non-transferable. Unless Logan specifically asked me to stay and I somehow managed to secure the funds for another ticket, which would be next to impossible, I couldn't afford to miss my flight.

&nbs
p; Our parents were well off, but the fact I wanted to prepare food for a living had my mother in a tizzy. Since culinary school was my calling, my college fund was being temporarily withheld. If I'd chosen to go to New York and follow any sort of performance art or modeling, funding would not even be an issue.

  "I can't afford another ticket, but if Logan wants me to go, I'll figure it out." In all honesty, I wanted to go home and be there for him. It would be almost as hard for me to say goodbye. I loved his mom.

  "I'll pay for your ticket." He stopped to look at me, his eyes were red. "Go talk to him, I don't know what to say to him. If he hasn't started packing, take care of that for him too, please. I'll take care of the broken bottle."

  I nodded, heading across the hall to Logan's closed door and knocked.

  After a minute with no reply, I eased the door open to see Logan sitting at his desk, staring into space. His shirt had mascara streaks on it. The overhead light was off, but a small reading lamp on his nightstand was on, poorly lighting the room.

  Logan was close to finishing school, but would he stay here and complete his degree or go home and run his family's ranch? I couldn't even contemplate making a decision as big as that right now. It could have easily been my parents in a collision on that road. Even though my mom could be a bitch, I didn't want her hurting in any way.

  "Hey," I mumbled and shut the door behind me. When he still didn't acknowledge, I walked to him and touched his shoulder. "Sweetie, I need to pack your bag. Where is it?"

  "On the shelf in the closet," he whispered. He didn't move, didn't even look at me, just kept staring at the wall. It worried me.

  Five minutes later, his clothes were neatly packed. I went to the bathroom and grabbed his deodorant and razor, stowing them in the bag. Zipping it up, I set it by the door, and walked to him. I eased one hip up on the desk then scooched further so I could look him in the eyes. Running my fingers through his hair, I tugged slightly, forcing him to look at me.

  I should say something, but I didn't know what to say.

  His eyes were red rimmed and tear filled. I swiped my thumb under his eye, wiping away moisture then pulled back. That look on his face broke my heart. He ran his hands up my outer thighs. I felt my belly quiver then his hands settled on my hips. Logan's always been rough around the edges, and I've found that attractive. This sweet almost submissive side could break me.

  "Maybe you should lie in bed. It's late and we're all going to have a long day tomorrow. You should try and rest."

  He leaned forward, putting his head on my chest. I couldn't do anything but blink at the gesture. It wasn't sexual, he was hurting. Bringing my hand up, I ran my fingers through his thick dark brown hair, then massaged his scalp.

  He sighed deeply, then said, "Dad and I got into it before we left, you know? Over school and stupid stuff. Now he's gone."

  I knew dwelling on that shit wouldn't change a thing. His parents loved him and occasionally used tough love to get a point across. The only reason I knew about the fight was because his mom wanted me to be prepared for his bad mood, since I was going to be stuck in the car with him.

  "Your mom mentioned some of it. Your dad was trying to make a point. He wanted you to think. Pretty much like every other fight you guys had. Their accident is not your fault, and you know they loved you." I didn't want to cry in front of Logan again. Tucking him in and retreating to a corner to cry seemed like the best option.

  "I know they did. Mom loved you too," he said, pulling his head back to look at me.

  "I'm sorry." I felt my face heat up, tears welling up in my eyes. I couldn't help it. I wiped the few that fell away.

  "Stay with me for a bit."

  I didn't know what to say, so I stayed silent in thought.

  Lay in bed with Logan? T.R.O.U.B.L.E. was all that would bring. It might keep me from a hellacious crying jag, but I doubted it. My face was already splotchy, and my eyes were red and swollen. What little natural beauty I did have could not handle another bawling session. He must have sensed my hesitation.

  "We're both in a bad place right now. I don't wanna be alone."

  With beer, bad news, and crying, I was beyond tired. I was sure his bed would be more comfortable than the couch, plus Logan the Adonis would be next to me. All of that combined should keep the tears at bay.

  "Um—okay," I whispered. Pulling me off the desk, he led me to the bed. He motioned for me to take the side closest to the wall. Well, no quick escape that way. As I lay down, he turned off the light and curled into me with his head on my shoulder. Massaging his scalp seemed to calm him before, so I resumed that.

  "You're not coming home."

  Uncertainty. Never in my eighteen years had I heard that tone from Logan. Never.

  "If you need me to be there, I will be. Nathan offered to buy me another ticket." Facing my mom again so soon would be difficult. It was hard enough keeping true and being honest about what I wanted. This life was mine to live; she could either support my dreams and help me succeed, or I'll find a way to do it on my own.

  "Baby, you can't back out of New York. You need to go after your dreams. Having your mom back in your face about it will make it that much harder. Especially without my mom at your back supporting you."

  He truly understood my family dynamics. Although, I was not sure anyone could fully understand my mother's motives, Logan knew me well enough to know I needed to escape Montana. I didn't want to leave him in his time of need.

  "Your parents mean a lot to me, especially your mom. I want to be there for you and pay my respect. New York is happening. Delay or not, nothing will change that." Crap. Now I was thinking about the accident. I didn't know how bad it was, and I hoped they didn't suffer at all. I couldn't imagine being stuck in a car knowing you were probably going to die. My body shook at the thought.

  Logan broke my morbid thoughts by speaking, "Good. Mom was excited for you to go. She wouldn't want you to postpone because of this. Nathan will be there. We'll get through this. If you go home and your mom manages to talk you out of CIA ... I couldn’t live with that."

  I sniffled before answering, "Okay, sweetie. I won't delay New York." Without warning the tears started falling, and I felt like such a girly girl. He rolled to his back, tucking me into his side so my head rested on his chest.

  Rubbing my back, he told me, "Just let it out, baby. You'll feel better."

  So I did. Curling my fingers, in his shirt I bawled. It didn't make me feel better, but I bawled until I exhausted myself, eventually falling asleep.

  ######

  A loud knock sounded and I heard the door open. Opening my eyes, I saw Nathan in the doorway. I was comfortable, very comfortable. Logan's arm was wrapped around my waist. I was curled into his side, arm draped across his abs, and he's holding my hand against his chest. I lifted my head, looking at Logan. Nathan's heavy knocking didn't wake him.

  Nathan's eyes roamed the bed. I knew he loved Logan, in a weird bromance, guy way. But he was not happy with the status quo. Not that it mattered, if Logan did break some guy code. I was leaving for New York, so there would be no romantic relationship with Logan, even if it did look that way to Nathan.

  "Am I taking you to the airport?" Nathan asked from the doorway. I nodded. "We leave in an hour. If you want to shower, you better do it now. And be quick about it."

  I mumbled, "Yes," as he shut the door. Even though it was a shitty night, I would always remember Logan holding me. Although, it pained me to pull away from him, I had to. I promised him I wouldn't delay New York, and showering before being stuck on a plane was mandatory.

  Grumpily, I pushed off his chest, sitting up rubbing the sleep from my eyes. This caused Logan to stir and ask, "Where are you going?" That soft, sexy, drowsy tone, almost made me reconsider the promise I made.

  "To shower then New York."

  His eyes opened as his hand found my cheek. He executed a partial ab curl type maneuver, pulling my face towards his. He planted his lips on mine. His ton
gue briefly touched mine and before I registered what was happening, he was already pulling away.

  That was not anywhere close to what I'd daydreamed kissing Logan would be like.

  "Thanks for staying with me last night. Let me know that you made it to school okay."

  What the hell?

  Any other time, I would tackle this head on, but I was leaving and I didn’t have time to confront him now. I pushed off the bed but hesitated by the door.

  "I'll text you when I get settled. If you need anything call me, even if you just wanna talk." I knew he wouldn't call me, but I felt better making the offer. He wanted me to focus on school and my goals. So that's what I’d do—live my life, and if I ended up back in Montana one day, so be it.

  Chapter Two

  Half a Decade Later

  Tonight would be the first wedding I’ve attending that I had also created the couples cake for. Well, reception, I was missing the ceremony to set up the cake. And I had created one hell of a cake. I put my heart and soul into making Kevin and Courtney's cake, and it was gorgeous. It was a five tier square cake with each tier having a different cake and filling flavor.

  It took me a decent hour to set up the cake. Stepping back from the cake table, I admired my work. The massive cake was adorned with black ribbon and blood red roses. I'd had a long day at the bakery, and now cake set up was done. I rarely went out anymore, thanks to trying to build a clientele for the bakery. I needed to celebrate, take a detour off the frenzied speeding highway of running a business, and take a night to relax.

  Several loud pops sounded, causing me to jump. Looking around, I saw several waiters pouring champagne into flutes. They really should warn people before they open those things. The ceremony must be over now, with the guests scheduled to arrive any minute. Along with champagne, there was an open bar available while guests waited for Kevin and Courtney to arrive from the chapel.

  While walking over to the bar, I passed a waiter and took a flute of champagne. I hadn’t eaten since breakfast this morning. I’d been running around the bakery like a crazy person accomplishing everything I had to, before going home and changing, and coming back to take care of the cake.